Updated: Mar 6, 2021
Why aren’t we talking about the things that really matter?
Generally, when you become a new mum the conversation revolves around whether or not your baby is a “good” baby, what pram or car seat you have, if you baby self settles or sleeps through the night or even around how quickly your body “bounces back”. Why are these things so important it’s the first comment made or question asked? Why is this the conversation? Why are we putting ridiculous expectations on each new mama and newborn baby? Why do these things even matter to the people around us or even society overall?!
Can we talk about how we are REALLY feeling?
Can we talk about the highs and the lows in ALL pregnancies?
Can we talk about all kinds of births?
Can we talk about the extreme exhaustion and the severe sleep deprivation and what that does to a person?
Can we talk about the lack of postpartum care?
Can we talk about support networks and resources so that its known to every single parent?
Can we talk about how hard breastfeeding is and that you haven’t failed if you don’t?
Can we talk about colic and reflux and how that impacts a mother?
Can we talk about not bonding with your baby and how that doesn’t make you a bad person?
Can we talk about what really happens after birth? You know, like sex, body image, emotions?
Can we talk about maternity leave rights? Can we talk about paternity leave rights?
Can we talk about the struggles of endometriosis, PCOS and IVF?
Can we talk about depression and anxiety but also how we can support people suffering?
Can we talk about maternal suicide and why its happening?
Can we talk about our vaginas and not be ashamed?
Can we talk about those moments our heart wants to explode from love and then on the exact same day breaks for ourselves?
Can we talk about the toxic comparisons and judgemental motherhood culture?
Can we talk about self worth?
Can we talk about returning to work and how hard that transition is?
Can we talk about the fact we aren't the same person?
Can we talk about setting up unrealistic expectations of mothers?
Can we talk about our society and culture and what needs to change?
Can we talk about mum guilt?
Can we talk about toxic belief systems like perfectionism?
Can we talk about the mental loads a mother carries, you know, the invisible load on your mind that no one can see?
Can we talk about hormones and the role they play in us?
Can we talk about how you can love your kids and not love being a mum?
Can we talk about matrescence?
Can we talk about the fact we are changing, growing, transforming, moulding, refining ourselves and that this takes time, healing, understanding?
Can we talk about the things that matter? The things that will make a difference? That’s just a few things on my mind lately. Im certainly not shaming the mums that take pride in their babies sleeping through or who are domestic goddesses, that’s amazing and I love that those things make you feel fulfilled. But I hope you’ll talk about all of these things with me, on the blog, on social media, with your friends and family. Lets change the conversation around motherhood. It's not about how much you weigh or how quickly your tummy deflates. It's not about whose kids lunchboxes are healthier or whose baby can sleep through the night first.
Can we normalise all parts of motherhood? The good and the hard? Because it's hard and it's different for everyone. Can we talk about all of this?