From birth trauma to a healing birth.
Updated: Feb 28, 2021
This is such a special birth story! Well done @libel.creations and congratulations on your beautiful second bub, Taya 💜 "After having a traumatic experience with my first baby I was determined to have a different / better experience with our second baby. I had an ultrasound at 36 weeks to check the size of my baby and as expected they estimated she was already 3.6kg. So an induction was set for 39 weeks. October 20th I went to hospital to get a Foley balloon in (to start manually opening the cervix). It was so strange and exciting knowing the next day we would meet our little girl. 5am on the 21st we went into be induced. My angel midwife had prepared my room with fairy lights, tea light candles and a message saying welcome baby Taya. I instantly felt calm and comforted knowing I was being so well looked after and loved. She broke my waters to see if I'd start labour naturally but an hour passed and only mild cramping. So I was given the oxytocin drip after only 3 attempts to find my vein (it took 8 times with my first baby). The contractions were mild and my husband and I played a game of cards while we waited for the drip to kick in. Then I decided walking might help move things along but as I was wearing monitor's for baby and me I couldn't leave the maternity ward. So my beautiful husband paced the short hallway over and over while rolling my super awkward drip on the worst roller device ever. They started getting stronger so I moved to an exercise ball and used a course hunk of bitumin that I slowly broke apart as I clenched it through contractions. The ball worked well for hours then I felt the need to get lower and knelt on the floor rocking back and forth through contractions. Using my voice doing Ahh sounds really helped distract from the pain and I got loud with it! Cam was right with me the whole time holding my hand and helping me sway. It felt so good to have him close supporting and coaching me through. I started using gas on a low level as it made me super nauseous with Cai (my 1st born). Having it low helped reduce my nausea but wasn't doing much for the pain.
But it also meant I could no longer use my voice as I had been which sucked. My husband called my sister to come as he was starving but didn't want to leave me by myself. The back pain became more and more intense and the monitor kept losing babies heart beat so we knew she'd turned posterior. I wanted to try the sterile water injections for the back pain but also wanted to see how far dilated I was. The examination showed I was only 4cm dilated. I knew it would be hours before baby would come and the oxytocin was getting more and more intense. I asked for an epidural instead, hoping my body could rest and dilate.
The anesthesiologist took so long! It was half an hour before he got to my room then 15 to set up his stuff and another 15 for it to kick in. I'm so glad I asked for it when I did as my I was totally losing control of myself. I felt like the contractions would be the death of me I was in so much pain. But I was so proud of how far I'd come in working with Cam as a team to progress through contractions for 8 hours.
The epidural was so different from when I had my son. This time I could still feel and move my legs, roll myself from side to side on the bed and feel the contractions, though the pain of them was now only mild so that I could breathe through each one. After a while the pain was getting worse in my back again so we called for the anesthesiologist to come back. My feet and hands cramped up so bad I couldn't move or straighten them, it was super weird. Then they noticed baby's heart monitor dropping out and they had to put an internal monitor on her. I started freaking out and thinking about everything that happened with my son and cried.
My midwife noticed I was making pushing sounds and I started feeling lots of pressure in my bum. She sat my bed up so I could sit and all of a sudden the back pain was gone and her heart rate became normal. I was so relieved and just sat there for the next hour so baby could decend with gravity to reduce the amount of pushing I'd need to do. My beautiful sister massaged my hands and feet so I could open them again. I felt so relaxed and like I was in control of myself again.
When my midwife could see baby had descended fully I started pushing and in three pushes she was out! Holding her on my chest felt incredible, she was perfect and I instantly loved her. Which was something I was worried about feeling as I'd had antenatal depression and struggled feeling connected with the pregnancy.
We were all crying and my sister got to cut the cord because my husband was freaked out by it. I had a second degree tear but it wasn't nearly as bad as my tear with my son. This whole birth experience was so emotionally healing for me.
My daughter is 8 weeks old now and I'm still smitten by her. I've felt postnatal depression creeping back into my head but I'm prepared this time to deal with it using my mental health tools and support people."