Home | The Power of Birth

“In giving birth to our babies, we may find that we give birth to new possibilities within ourselves.”
– Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn

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Can We Talk About This?! Podcast

Host Amber-lee Buendicho

By sharing stories and insights from both experts and those with lived experiences, we empower you to advocate for your own health and wellbeing. Expect practical tips, education, and a fresh perspective on perinatal health and modern motherhood.

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Here you’ll find spaces to learn, connect, and feel supported - whether you’re seeking evidence-based information, real-life stories, practical tools, or opportunities to collaborate. Each part of this website is designed to nurture you through birth, postpartum, and beyond.

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What No One Told You

The truths about birth and motherhood we all deserve to hear.

Free Tools for Your Wellbeing

Worksheets, guides, and gentle practices you can start today.

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Stories That Heal

Read and share real birth and postpartum experiences - because your story matters too.

Work With Me

Invite me to share my expertise and passion for perinatal mental health as a guest speaker, podcast guest, workshop presenter, or panel contributor. I love partnering with conferences, podcasters, events, mother’s groups, and fellow professionals to create meaningful conversations and impactful education.

What a powerful statement by Karen Kleiman.

This is what maternal ambivalence looks like. Two coexisting contradictory feelings, two truths at once.

The love and the longing. The joy and the grief. The gratitude and the resentment. The deep devotion and the quiet wish for escape.
Ambivalence isn’t a flaw, it’s part of becoming a mother.

These oppositional experiences can feel unbearable because society teaches mothers that love and sacrifice should come easily, that good mothers don’t feel resentment, anger, or despair. When these feelings do arise (and they do, for nearly everyone), mothers often interpret them as proof that something is wrong with them.

These aren’t selfish thoughts. They’re survival thoughts. They’re what happens when love meets depletion.The goal isn’t to erase those feelings it’s to speak them. Because when we bring the darkness into light, shame loses its grip.

I urge you to say the hard things out loud, name the ambivalence, don't suffer in silence and shame because you most certainly are not alone.

@artofholding
@postpartumstress

#motherhood #matrescence #thepowerofbirth #perinatalmoodandanxietydisorders #perinatalpsychology #perinatalmentalhealth #maternalambivalence #shame #selfcompassion #anxiety #maternalsuicide #womenshealth #mother #identity #invisiblewomen

A poetic tribute to his wife, the mother of his child. What a beautiful reflective piece.

This poem, “Young Woman,” was written by @ntang_osteo witnessing the birth of his daughter, the rebirth of his wife, the sacred storm of birth and the endurance, unravelling and surrendering it calls for.

#birth #birthpoem #dadsperspective #becoming #matrescence #motherhood #fatherhood

Motherhood has a way of cracking us open, not just to love, but to all the parts of ourselves we’ve tucked away to survive. The parts that ache. The parts that rage. The parts that grieve the life we had before, or the woman we thought we’d be by now.

This is the work.. the nights you meet your own shadow while rocking a baby, the moments you realise your patience isn’t endless, or that healing sometimes looks like breaking first. It’s the slow, tender work of unlearning what we were taught about being “good,” “selfless,” or “strong".

It’s meeting the parts of ourselves that still crave approval, the ones that feel invisible, resentful, or ashamed for needing more. It’s healing the stories we inherited about our bodies, our worth, our right to rest and facing the loneliness that can linger even when we’re surrounded by love.

But this isn’t a sign you’re failing. It’s a doorway. The deepest healing often begins where things feel hardest in the messy, unfiltered spaces where you learn to mother yourself, too. Sometimes the darkness is the exhaustion that strips you bare enough to finally ask for help. Sometimes it’s the grief of realising you can’t go back to who you were before and the quiet rebirth that follows when you stop trying to.
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##perinatalmentalhealth
#maternalmentalhealth
#postpartumjourney
#birthtrauma
#fourthtrimester
#motherhoodunfiltered
#mentalhealthmatters
#youarenotalone
#mumssupportingmums
#matrescence
#becoming

This was me in 2020. Smiling, functional, and absolutely falling apart inside.

Perinatal mental health doesn’t have a ‘look.’

Sometimes it hides behind the ‘I’m fine,’ even the tidy house, and the happy family photos.

Check on the mums who also seem ok, sometimes we’re just really good at pretending.

#motherhood #PerinatalMentalHealth #thepowerofbirth #postpartum #matrescence #maternalmentalhealth #birthtrauma #hg #perinataltrauma #anxiety #covid #rage #ptsd #womenshealth #identity #invisiblewomen

1. Imagine how burdensome it would be on your child if you were perfect. Its ok to practice imperfection.

2. There is no reward for doing it all, just burnout and resentment. Burning yourself out doesn't make you a good mother, it makes you an empty one.

3. You dont need to eliminate anxiety... its about expanding your capacity to hold uncertainty without collapsing.

4. Comparison is not only the thief of joy, but also the thief of presence.

5. Sometimes all we can do is surrender to the season and trust it will eventually end.

6. Rage isn't the problem, its a signal. What is your rage telling you?

7. You can’t “bounce back” because you’re not meant to. You were never supposed to return to who you were ... she's the foundation of who you are becoming.

8. Your worth was never in what you produced, achieved, or maintained ,its in your being. Motherhood doesn’t erase that, it reveals it.

9. You don’t need to fix or avoid your mixed feelings about motherhood, your baby, your life... you need to feel them without shame.

10. Compassion starts when you stop talking to yourself like you're the problem.
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#motherhood #mothering #perinatalmentalhealth #maternalmentalhealth #pregnancy #birth #postpartum #anxiety #depression #pnd #pna #perinatalmoodandanxietydisorders #pmad ##parenting ##psychology ##selfcompassion #perinatalpsychologist #highfunctioning #perfectionism #thepowerofbirth #matrescence #shame #ambivalence #rage #guilt #identityinmotherhood

A real conversation after pregnancy loss.
And it's not good.
This is what conversations sound like in a world that's uncomfortable with grief.

So many women nod and smile through words that sting. It all comes from a well intended place, but these comments are evident of someone who has not been through loss, who have not grieved. They have some emotional blindspots.

You're allowed to grieve. You're allowed to still talk about your baby. You're allowed to not be "over it". Grief doesn’t need a timeline or a silver lining, it needs space, softness and love.

Not everything that breaks us has a reason. Some things are just terrible and tragic. They don't need to be fixed, just witnessed, held, and remembered.

If you have experienced pregnancy or infant loss please know there is no right way to grieve. Be gentle with yourself, you're doing the impossible 🩷
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#pregnancy #miscarriage #pregnancyloss #infantloss #pregnancyandinfantlossawarenessmonth #loss #grief #griefandloss #psychology #perinatalmentalhealth #maternalmentalhealth #motherhood #matrescence #womenshealth #reproductivehealth

🎶 “When the night falls quiet, I come alive again…”

sipping chai and pretending I’m not paying for this late bedtime in the morning.

Tell me I'm not the only one!! 😆🤗

Who else is obsessed with this @madetomilk booby mug?! 👀

#revengebedtime #findingpeace #glimmers #findingjoy #thepowerofbirth #motherhood #perinatalmentalhealth #maternalmentalhealth #opalite #postpartum #pregnancy #alonetime

You can adore your child with every fibre of your being AND still find parts of motherhood really hard.

That doesn’t make you ungrateful. It makes you human. Motherhood is both love and loss, joy and exhaustion, beauty and burnout, often all in the same breath.

You’re allowed to hold both truths at once.

#thepowerofbirth #matrescence #perinatalmentalhealth #postpartumjourney #motherhoodunfiltered #itsokaynottobeok #gentleparenting #motherhoodtruths #mumlife #motherhood

There’s a kind of invisible suffering that so many women carry, one that isn’t about doing too much, but about being pulled in two completely opposite directions.

We’re raised to believe that a good mother gives endlessly, she sacrifices herself for the people she loves, keeps the peace, holds everything together.
And at the same time, we’re told to chase our dreams, maintain independence and never lose ourselves.

So we stretch.
We pour from empty cups.
We feel guilty no matter which way we lean... guilty for wanting more, guilty for needing rest, guilty for not being enough. Then we rage.

And somewhere in between, we start to wonder… who am I now?

I see this every day in the stories of mothers who are trying to reconcile these two worlds: the self that was and the self that’s becoming.
It’s not weakness. It’s not failure. It’s the impossible task of living within a culture that asks women to be both everything for everyone and everything for themselves.

Maybe the real work of healing is not finding balance between these expectations… but questioning them altogether and instead start redefining what a good woman and mother means for ourselves. 🩷🤍
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#thepowerofbirth #matrescence #perinatalmentalhealth #motherhood #womanhood #postpartumjourney #marthabeck #motherhoodunfiltered #birth #pregnancy #postpartummum #postpartum #kids #identity #goodenoughmother #patriarchalmotherhood #mothering #maternalmentalhealth

Does this happen to you?

Here’s the psychology behind it 👇

Your brain constantly updates an internal map of your body called the body schema (or body image).
It’s how your brain knows where you are in space, how big or small you are, how you move, and what you look like from your usual perspective (like in the mirror).

That body map is built through repetition and familiarity, seeing yourself every day in certain lighting, angles, expressions, movement. Over time, your brain learns to expect that version. It becomes your baseline perception or what “you” look like.

Then a photo disrupts that prediction. A photo gives your brain a totally new set of visual data
- not reversed like a mirror
- frozen in time
- from a distance or angle you rarely see
- under lighting you don’t control

It doesn’t match the brain’s learned “prediction,” so it feels off even if the photo is technically accurate. That jarring feeling isn’t vanity or denial; it’s just your perceptual system saying, “this doesn’t fit the pattern I know.”

During big body changes (like pregnancy, postpartum, or weight shifts), your internal body map lags behind reality. Your brain hasn’t yet updated to the new proportions, shapes, or sensations so the gap between what you “feel” like and what you “see” grows wider.

That’s why photos can feel so confronting they challenge your internal sense of self before your perception has had time to recalibrate.

It’s not that my brain remembers the old me it’s that it’s still expecting the me it’s used to seeing!

Late night fun facts for you 😆😆

Rest is not lazy. Rest is productive.

In motherhood, we’re taught to wear exhaustion like a medal. To push through, to give endlessly, to see rest as weakness.

Rest is recovery.
Rest is nervous system repair.
Rest is what allows us to mother with clarity, compassion, and capacity.

Burnout doesn’t make you a better mother.
Rest does.

You don’t need to justify it, explain it, or earn it.
Rest is not indulgence. It’s essential.

Give yourself permission to rest.
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#perinatalmentalhealth #motherhood #mothering #thepowerofbirth #rest #sleepdeprivation #baby #kids #patriarchalmotherhood #anxiety #nervoussystemsupport #shame ##selfcompassion #supportformothers #matrescence

Part two!

Here are some more responses from @thepowerofbirth community when I asked you about your experiences with sleep deprivation...

PSA: YOU ARE NOT YOURSELF WHEN YOU ARE SLEEP DEPRIVED!

I say this constantly! When we are in a sleep deficit, our emotional brain is on high alert. We are more vulnerable to mental health conditions, more emotionally charged, you may experience brain fog, difficulty concentrating, making decisions, problem solving and managing stress.

Studies suggest that disturbed sleep and poor sleep quality increases the risk of suicide in pregnant and postpartum women, even those without perinatal depression. We know that just lying down and relaxing, even if you can’t sleep, can lessen the effects of sleep deprivation.

Rest is productive.
Surrender to the season.
It's ok to practice imperfection.

#motherhood #sleepdeprivation #sleep #babysleep #shame #selfcompassion #anxiety #maternalsuicide #womenshealth
#mothercentredcare #matrescence
#thepowerofbirth

Part one.

I asked you about your experiences with sleep deprivation and my inbox was full! 60+ responses, all as painful as the other, heartbreaking stories of how sleep deprivation changed you, made you question yourself and your ability to mother, yet still mothering while describing that time as "torture".

Thank you to each and every one of you for sharing your personal experiences and insights with me. I have pulled certain excerpts from what you have shared so it can be accessible to other mothers who may be experiencing what you did.

More to come on this topic!

For now, I hope you give yourself grace for what you did and said when you were sleep deprived. 🙏❤️‍🩹
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#PerinatalMentalHealth #ThePowerofBirth #sleepdeprivation #sleep ##babysleep #LivedExperienceMatters #anxiety #insomnia #awareness #selfcompassion #depression #mentalhealthimpact #perinatalpsychology

Motherhood is made up of many parts and colours.
What part are you sitting in right now?

#perinatalpsychology #perinatalmentalhealth #thepowerofbirth ##matrescencesupport ##matrescence #birth #pregnancy #postpartum #motherhood #mothering

I recently asked this community about their experiences with sleep deprivation. With over 60 responses, I was pulling out themes of how it was described, similarities in experiences and the mental health and life impact.

One thing that stood out to me was the lack of conversation and support around what is *normal* vs not normal when it comes to sleep deprivation. There were many of you that actually met the criteria for insomnia, however this was not mentioned to you, in fact, your experience was normalised.

So I wanted to show you what is typical sleep deprivation and the differences with insomnia. Notice the common overlap of symptoms that is picked up on and normalised, but reality is, insomnia requires adequate treatment and support that differs to typical sleep deprivation.

Insomnia Disorder (DSM-5-TR Summary)
Insomnia disorder means having ongoing problems with sleep despite having the chance to sleep. It is diagnosed when:

Main problem: Dissatisfaction with sleep quality or quantity.

Symptoms: One or more of these occur:

Trouble falling asleep.

Waking often or struggling to get back to sleep.

Waking too early and can’t fall back asleep.

Frequency: Happens at least 3 nights a week.

Duration: Lasts for at least 3 months.

Opportunity: Sleep problems occur even when there’s enough time to sleep.

Impact: Causes distress or problems with daily life (work, school, social life).

Does this resonate?

#insomnia #sleepdeprivation #PerinatalMentalHealth
#perinatalpsychology
#motherhood #anxiety #depression #mothering #sleep #babysleep #thepowerofbirth

Every single day in Australia, 6 babies are stillborn. That’s over 2,000 families every year who leave the hospital with empty arms. The impact is lifelong; grief, trauma, and a silence that too often surrounds their loss.

Stillbirth doesn’t discriminate. It can happen in healthy pregnancies with no warning, but research shows there are known risk factors and warning signs like changes in a baby’s movement, no longer feeling the baby moe, pain, vaginal bleeding/fluid.

Awareness remains low, research is underfunded, and many families feel isolated and unsupported. We can change this.

We need a national campaign that puts stillbirth on the public health agenda, raising awareness, funding research, and making sure every family is supported during and after.

Together, our voices can turn this silent tragedy into action. We are stronger together.

Please sign the petition and help us make stillbirth prevention and support a national priority!

Link in bio.

Thank you for your support ❤️‍🩹🩷🤍

@whittakerswingsfoundation
@sandsqueensland
@rednoseaustralia
@stillbirthfoundation
@still_aware
@bearsofhope

#StillbirthAwareness #EndStillbirth #BreakTheSilence #PregnancyLossAwareness #StillbirthPrevention #StopStillbirth #ThePowerofBirth #Motherhood #Parent #Stillbirth #BabyLoss #PregnancyLoss

Late night readings.
Late night thoughts.
Late night truths.

Perfection builds pressure. Repair builds connection. Parenting is about being real, not flawless.

@raisinggoodhumanspodcast

#motherhood #mother #mothering #perfectdoesntexist #anxiety #parenting #psychology #selfcompassion #shame #supportformothers #surrender #dailyreminder #kids

Today is R U OK? Day and for parents no matter what season they are in, but especially in pregnancy or the first year after birth, that question can mean everything.

Sleep deprivation, difficult or traumatic perinatal experiences, birth recovery and the shock of new routines and learning how to mother can leave many feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or isolated - even if they look “fine” on the outside (lets not forget about our high functioning friends).

Try asking: “How are *you* sleeping/eating/feeling, (not just the baby?)”

Then pause. Listen. Resist the urge to fix straight away. Sometimes being heard is the most powerful support.

And don’t forget to check in again. One conversation can open the door to hope, but connection is built over time.

If the response is "I'm fine", some ways to lean in a bit more include:
"I’m glad to hear that but I really want to know, how are you going, honestly?”
"I hear you, but being a new mum is a lot"
"You don’t have to be ‘fine’ with me... how are you really feeling?”

Sharing your struggles can also help open the conversation and give people permission to be vulnerable ❤️‍🩹

📞 If you or someone you love is struggling today:
Lifeline 13 11 14 | PANDA 1300 726 306 | Beyond Blue 1300 224 636 | 13YARN 13 92 76

#areyouokday #ruokday #perinatalmentalhealth #perinatalpsychology #anxiety #depression #newmother #vulnerability #thepowerofvulnerability #motherhood #mothering #newparent #baby #matrescencesupport #maternalsuicide
#matrescence ##pregnancy #birth #postpartum #griefandloss

Maternal suicide is preventable - untreated perinatal depression increases suicide risk up to 20 fold but support significantly reduces that risk!

Contrary to the myth that asking about suicide "puts the idea in their head" - asking about suicide can actually lower distress, reduce shame and isolation. Early intervention matters and every act of compassion and intervention can change the outcome.

By noticing risk factors in your loved ones, listening with compassion, and connecting them to the right support, we can save lives! ❤️‍🩹

#perinatalmentalhealth #maternalsuicide ##birthtrauma #postnataldepression #perinatalpsychology #anxiety
#supportformothers #sleepdeprivation #motherhood #signsofsuicide #suicideawareness

What a day! Barely any photos of course because I am so bad at caring about that in the moment 🤣

I've also included some of my favourite representations of mental ill health (by Amy Gibson, France & Gazelle Pezeshkmer, Norway) displayed in the artwork section - that was my highlight!

If you were wondering why I was there, I presented my experience last year in a pilot clinical pathway delivered within a 100% peer-led perinatal mental health organisation, something that hasn’t been done before in this way!! This was a reimagining of how clinicians and peer workers can collaborate to support parents navigating trauma and distress in early parenthood.

Some key points included...
✨ Peer + clinical integration that doesn’t dilute either role, but expands both
✨ Creating space for pain without pathologising it
✨ What happens when lived experience and clinical frameworks work *together*, not in silos
✨ And why being human is often the most therapeutic thing we can offer

One size does *not* fit all. And yet, many of our current systems still operate like it does. This pilot was a glimpse into something more human, more hopeful and more aligned with what perinatal mental health needs.

To those who trusted me with their stories, and to those who made this project possible - thank you!!! You’ve changed the way I practice forever. 🩷🩷🩷

#PerinatalMentalHealth #PeerLedCare #ThePowerOfBirth #TherapyRedefined #TheMHSConference #LivedExperienceMatters #PerinatalPsychology #BirthTrauma #ParentingSupport #MentalHealthInnovation
#PeachtreePerinatalWellness #MHSConference #MutualLearning

Birth trauma isn’t always obvious. It doesn’t always look like what people imagine; an emergency, a crisis, a dramatic scene. Sometimes it’s the quiet ache that sits in your bones, the invisible scar no one else can see.

Maybe it’s the way you scroll through birth announcements and feel a pang of jealousy instead of joy. The way you wonder, “what’s wrong with me?” when everyone else seems to be glowing in their newborn haze.

Maybe it’s the tears you hide because you “should be grateful.” The tension in your chest when friends swap birth stories like small talk. The hollow silence when your own story feels too heavy, too complicated, too shameful to tell. Sometimes it’s skipping conversations, pretending you’re fine.

Birth trauma doesn’t always look like flashbacks or nightmares. Sometimes it looks like disconnection. Numbness. Anger you don’t understand. A deep grief for the birth you never had.

What you carry is real. It doesn’t need to be compared, justified, or silenced. Trauma is not measured by how it looks on the outside, but by how it feels on the inside. You are carrying something heavy that was never yours to hold alone. You deserve to be witnessed, supported, and believed. 🩷

Feeling like motherhood is slowing you down? You're not quite where you think you should be?
There's so much to do and not enough time?
Feeling like everyone's lives are moving and yours isn't?

I want you to stop for a second, and just take it all in. Where you are right now. How far you've already come. Its good to have a sense of direction, but run your own race.

Let it be slow.
Let yourself be.
One thing at a time.
You're just moving in a different direction...

And...

You are exactly where you need to be 💕

A phrase that sounds caring, but for so many mothers it lands like a cloak of invisibility. The moment those words are spoken, her pain, her body, her mind, her story… vanish.It makes them invisible in the very moment they most need to be seen.

But mothers are not collateral damage.
A healthy baby at the expense of a broken mother is not success... and a healthy baby is not the standard.
When we erase mothers, we weaken the very foundations of family and society.

A truly healthy baby requires a mother who is whole, respected, and alive in every sense of the word.

Have you ever felt invisible?

#childbirth #motherhood #perinatalmentalhealth #birth #birthtrauma #supportformothers #humancentredcare #womenshealth #invisiblewomen #thepowerofbirth #allthatmattersisahealthybaby #postpartum #pregnancy

BEDTIME HACK!!

By the end of the day, we've all had it. Kids are tired, mum and dad are exhausted and then you have to put the kids to bed! It takes 462737 years for them to actually go to sleep, even with me sitting in there with them, reading books, playing meditation music, cuddles, pats on the back... you know the drill.

Of course I've done this "hack" before, but it looked different, I wasnt on their level, it wasnt individual but more of a group thing, sharing and stretching myself to make everyone feel happy, safe and loved while also just wanting everyone to go to damn sleep!

But doing it this way - connecting with them one on one, in their bed, dim lights, having a laugh, talking about whatever they wanted, it somehow made bedtime THAT much easier. Cutting it down from an hour to 20 mins.

It seems so simple. When you're the default parent, opportunities for connection can be missed, we may even miscue our kids because we are busy, exhausted, with a never ending to do list and at the end of the day we just want to kids to go to bed so we can have a few hours to ourselves. But pouring in just a little bit more at bedtime, surrendering to the stage of life you are in, you can just watch the transformation.

I've been doing this every night for a few weeks now and its now one of my favourite parts of the day. From dreading the bed time battle, to looking forward to it - it really can be that good.

Whats your bedtime hack?!

#motherhood #bedtime #puttingkidstobed #sleep #kids ##sleepdeprivation #surrender #mothering #perinatalmentalhealth #thepowerofbirth #bedtimehack #parenting

If you told my very anxious, traumatised self back in 2019 that this is where I would be in only a few years time BECAUSE of my struggles, I probably wouldn't have believed you.

But then again, she was still as determined as she is today to become well - now that determination is propelled into helping other mums feel well.

I'm working on some many things in the background and will announce more soon!!

Very exciting!!

See thepowerofbirth.net @thepowerofbirth

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#reelsofinstagram #brandingshoot #anxiety
#birthtrauma #birthinjury ##pelvicfloor ##rebuilding #womenshealth
#perinatalmentalhealth #thepowerofbirth ##matrescencesupport ##awareness #livedexperience #clinicalwork #psychologist #mother #mothering #motherhood #mama #supportformothers #depression #pregnancy #postnatal #postpartum

Hey mama, just FYI.
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#motherhood #mothering #matrescence #perinatalmentalhealth #ThePowerOfBirth #ambivalence #reminder #maternalambivalence #mama #baby #pregnancy #birth #postpartum #selfcompassion #womenshealth #enjoyeveryminute #lovingmum

I am in constant awe of mothers. Not only in the toll it takes to grow a baby, but to feed, live without sleep, and think about another human more than ourselves... but in the way we drag our tired bodies through days that never seem to end. In the way we love so fiercely it hurts, even when we are running on nothing.

Early motherhood is often not soft edges and glowing light, it is also bone deep exhaustion, spit up on shirts, tears in bathrooms and still finding the strength to keep going.

The best thing I ever did for my mental health was to speak up. Tell someone I'm not ok. That is the hardest part, after that, it gets easier.

If you are struggling right now, please know you are not alone and you can be well again.

Helplines
@pandanational 1300 726 306
@forwhenhelpline 1300 24 23 22
@gidgetfoundation
@cope.org.au
@mumsmatterpsychology
@postpartumsupportinternational
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#motherhood #mother #mothering #matrescence #perinatalmentalhealth #pnd #pna #birth #pregancy #postpartum #allmumswork ##parenting #depression #anxiety #mothersupport #womenshealth

Birth bias isn't only in our systems - homebirth and hospital birth, midwifery and obstetric care, private and public systems - it's within us. It shows up in our conversations at baby showers, in how professionals speak to birthing women, and in how our stories are shared (or dismissed).

When we carry our own birth bias into these spaces, even without meaning to, we add to the divide. And worse, we can add to birth trauma.

The best thing I have ever done for my own 'birth bias' was listening to other women's stories. Understanding that people are different and want different things, AND THAT'S OK. (Shout out to @thepowerofbirth community for allowing me to learn from you!)

I wrote my recent blog on "birth bias" to call this out - not to shame anyone, but to invite awareness. Because the way we talk to about birth matters. The way we listen (or don't) matters. And its only when we confront our own bias that we can begin to change the system for the better.

🩷 Read the full piece at thepowerofbirth.net - LINK IN BIO.

#blog #birthbias #ThePowerOfBirth
#perinatalmentalhealth #awareness #selfreflection #reflectivepractice #compassion #supportformothers #shame #birthtrauma #midwiferycare #obstetriccare #humancentredcare #birth #postpartum #pregnancy

Just here to be that little voice to tell you that it feels hard because it is hard. You were never meant to mother alone.

#motherhood #modernmotherhood #perinatalmentalhealth #thepowerofbirth #pregnancy #birth #postpartum #dailyreminder #village #mother

I’ve worked on this piece on and off for two years. It started as a rant but as I grew, so did the writing.

This week, I finally shared it. Not because it’s perfect, but because I need this conversation to happen.

It’s part personal reflection, part professional insight, written from years of listening to women’s birth stories and confronting my own biases.

I hope I’ve said enough to get you thinking.
To help you recognise your own birth bias.
To see how your views, no matter how well-intended, can either support or silence the women around you.

Blog excerpt:
“...I used to think it was my job to open women’s eyes to the flaws in the system. But that mindset isn’t empowering, it’s paternalistic. My job is to respect a woman’s autonomy. Her story. Her body. Her decisions...”

Read it with an open heart. Then ask yourself: how are you showing up in birth spaces and conversations?

Link in bio xx

#birthtrauma #birthbias #humancentredcare #mothercentredcare #maternitycare #thepowerofbirth #blog #blogpost #pregnancy #birth #birthingwoman #postpartum #perinatalmentalhealth

I thought it was about time I reintroduced myself and great timing with my new branding shoot photos!

Hiiii 👋 I'm Amber-lee!

I am a mum of two, who are now 5 and 6 years old which seems crazy to say. I'm a charcuterie board enthusiast, pilates lover, podcaster, provisional psychologist and a passionate perinatal mental health advocate.

Here are some fun facts about me!
1. I have 5 siblings 😎
2. I was a flight attendant for nearly 10 years 🫡
3. I am an extrovert and love bringing people together 🥳
4. I used to tell my primary school friends to call me Britney Spears the 2nd 😝
5. I HATE coffee - yes I was a shift worker then a mum and I survived without caffeine 🤣

My journey began after experiencing traumatic pregnancies, birth injuries and a ragey postpartum during covid, all while learning how to be a mum. Over and over I would say, "why didnt anyone tell me?!" Referring to sleep, birth recovery, breastfeeding, the mental load, vaginas, pelvic floor, and mental health. These experiences ignited a passion to understand and challenge our birthing culture and women's health, even inspiring my psychology honours thesis on birth trauma.

Over time, I've built this space using a blend of lived experience and clinical experience, through a feminist lens and love connecting with different people! If you'd like to collaborate, send me a DM!

Alongside this community, I host Can We Talk About This podcast- raw, honest conversations about pregnancy, birth, postpartum and beyond. You'll also find free resources, support coordination, blogs, events - all created to inform, validate, and support you! (I am currently in the middle of an upgrade 😝)

I have big plans for @thepowerofbirth and I'm currently working on some exciting projects that offer different ways to support you.

Whether you're a mum or work supporting mothers, or both! - I'm so glad you're here 🩷

#perinatalmentalhealth
#psychologist #perinatal #mother #mothering #motherhood #anxiety #birthtrauma #birthinjury #supportformothers #shame #pregnancy #birth #postpartum

Every single initial session I have had with a new mum, I pulled out this book. Every single person has said, "omg this is me". My response is always, "yes and it's not just you 🩷🙏". And then we begin the therapeutic journey together.

If we could hand out a book to new parents in the hospital, this would be the one.

If there could be a standard gift at baby showers, this would be the one.

If there could be one book in all new parent households, this would be the one.

This is not an ad or promotional material - this is pure passion and Karen Kleiman hits the nail on the head with this one, an oldie but a goodie.

This book not only provided me with validation, support and hope - I now get to see that reflected in my clients.

Have you read it?!

@artofholding
@postpartumstress

#perinatalmentalhealth #intrusivethoughts #postpartum #newparents #mother #mothering #motherhood #babybrain #perinatal #postnatal #baby #birth #pregnancy #therapy #psychologist #matrescence #thepowerofbirth

Just a gentle nudge to be kind to yourself 🩷
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#motherhood #mother #matrescence #pregnancy #birth #postpartum #perinatalmentalhealth #psychology #supportformothers #findingjoy #kids #womenshealth #comparison #compassion #mothering

Joy in motherhood isn’t automatic. Here’s how to make space for it...

Noticing the small “glimmers” can train your brain to spot more of them: a warm cup of tea, your baby's breath, sunshine on your face.

These simple practices - pausing on purpose, music + movement, getting outside, engaging your senses, celebrating small wins aren’t about faking happiness. They’re about giving joy a place to land, even in the middle of the chaos. You can find joy again, bit by bit, by letting it in 🩷

Save this for the days when joy feels far away. ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹
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#postpartumjourney #matrescence #motherhoodmentalhealth #mumlifeaustralia #mindfulmotherhood #postpartumwellness #motherhoodtruth #motherhood #postpartumcare #mumssupportingmums #findingjoy #glimmers #mothering #parenting ##perinatalmentalhealth

Joy in motherhood at times, a controversial topic because it sits right in the tension between idealised expectations of mothers and the complex, often contradictory realities of the role.

For much of Western history, mothers have been told explicitly and implicitly that joy is the natural, even *required*, state of good mothering. In the 19th and early 20th centuries, cultural norms framed motherhood as a woman’s highest calling, and joy was treated as proof of moral worth. Women who spoke of fatigue, frustration, or regret risked being labelled unloving or unfit.

By the mid-20th century, media images (the smiling 1950s housewife with her perfect children) amplified this pressure. Feminists began challenging the idea of compulsory joy, showing how it erased women’s struggles and contributed to isolation. This history matters, because even today, joy can feel complicated. On social media, curated images of constant bliss can deepen the gap between expectation and reality, leaving many mothers feeling “wrong” if joy doesn’t come easily.

The truth is, joy and difficulty can co-exist. Our brains are wired to scan for threats, a survival instinct, but in the seasons of sleepless nights, toddler meltdowns, and endless lists, that wiring pulls our focus toward what’s hard. The glimmers of joy slip by unnoticed.

When we *consciously* look for joy, we’re not denying reality, we’re balancing it. Over time, this practice trains our brain to spot small, grounding, beautiful moments even in chaos.

Some of my favourite glimmers in motherhood:
☀️ The smell of your baby’s head after a bath.
☀️ A toddler belly laugh that makes you forget how tired you are.
☀️ Warm sunshine on your face.
☀️ Tiny fingers wrapped around yours during a feed.
☀️ The quiet moment after your kids are asleep, when the house finally exhales.
☀️ A hot drink you actually get to finish.
☀️ Listening to rain.

It’s not about feeling joy every moment or forcing yourself to be grateful all the time. It’s about letting joy in when it shows up, allowing it to sit alongside the exhaustion, the frustration, and the mess and knowing that those moments matter just as much as the hard ones. 🩷

I didn’t expect to feel like a stranger in my own body after birth. Those early postpartum days, were HARD. Learning about my birth injury, navigating pain, and adjusting to my new reality was overwhelming.

Yoga and pilates became more than exercise, they became my anchor. To breathe deeply. To notice and connect with my body. To feel the tension and let it go.

It wasn’t about ‘getting my body back.’ It was about giving my body back to me.
Movement helped me heal. It reminded me I could feel lightness, joy, and strength even in the middle of recovery. It's been 5 years since my last baby, and pilates is something that stuck!

Maybe for you, it’s not pilates. Maybe it’s a walk outside, stretching on the lounge room floor, or dancing in your kitchen. Whatever it is I hope you find that little anchor.

🩷

One day I'll buy a decent reformer machine, but for now this one does the job 😆

#postpartumbody #pelvicfloorrecovery #matrescence #postnatalhealing #perinatalmentalhealth #motherhood #mothering #findingjoy #movement #reformerpilates #birthinjury #pelvicfloor #rebuilding

Some days feel a little grey, so we go looking for colour. For us, that means finding a banger song with lyrics and beats you feel in your body - this one is my current favourite - turning it up loud, dancing in the lounge room, and singing (badly) at the top of our lungs. It’s not just fun, moving to music releases those feel good chemicals that lift mood and calm stress, and sharing those moments together builds a connection we both carry into the rest of the day.

I’ve learned that when I actively look for joy, I’m training my brain to notice more of it like opening the blinds to let more sunlight in. It doesn’t make the hard moments disappear, but it makes the grey feel lighter.

Proof that joy can be made, not just found.

Press play, move, breathe. 🎶

What’s your go to banger right now?!

#motherhood #perinatalmentalhealth #postpartum #pregnancy #birth #thepowerofbirth #parenting #mothering #matrescence #joy #findingjoy #glimmer #mother #connection #bonding #dancing #singing #findingjoyinthegrey #colour #mumlife #psychology

Yeah… I probably just needed a hug.

But instead, I got loud.

Because when you’re driven by lived experience,
When you’ve questioned every system that failed you,
When you refuse to shrink or stay silent you stop asking for permission or waiting for someone to see you.

Because sometimes what looks like “doing too much” is actually surviving. Rebuilding. Reclaiming.

It’s wild what you can create when you’ve got nothing but passion, fire, love (with a dash of rage) to give.

Fueled by self-determination.
No fear of rejection.
Refusal of outdated norms.
A fire for change.
And a deep belief that things can be different for me, for others, for the next generation.

Lived experience became my compass.
Change became my purpose.

So if you’re in the thick of it just know:
You can rewrite it all.
You’re allowed to burn it down and rebuild with gentleness, rage, vision, and love.

And one more thing, find your people. 😉

Of course none of it was possible without people who tirelessly supported me, listened to me, believed in me, gave me a chance. Forever grateful for them!

But yeah, probably just needed a hug TBH.

#perinatalmentalhealth #motherhood #psychologist #trending #reels #thepowerofbirth #matrescence #rage #vision #love #mothering #motherhood #pregnancy #birth #postpartum #justamum #supportformothers #awareness #mothering

Today I sat at a cafe and watched them play.
No one needed me to chase, carry, soothe, or entertain.
I was still close… but still.

And in that stillness, so many feelings came rushing in.
Peace… but also a quiet ache.
Pride… tangled with nostalgia.
Joy… with a trace of grief.

Because motherhood isn’t one feeling — it’s all of them, all at once.

If you're still in the season of constant doing, of never sitting, of stretched-thin days… I see you.

It changes. Slowly, then suddenly.

One day you’ll sit too. And sip your drink warm. ☕
And feel it all.

#motherhood #mothering #mother #parenting #matrescence #pregnancy #birth #postpartum #kids #baby #thepowerofbirth #perinatalmentalhealth #ambivalence #coexistingemotions #thepowerofand #reels #psychology

Just bringing you more Not So Fun Facts!

Motherhood is one of the most data erased, systemically penalised roles a woman can take on as it triggers a cascade of inequalities that affect every part of life from income, to career progression, to physical and mental health, due to a combination of outdated social norms, male centred systems, and a persistent failure to collect and apply gendered data. NOT just because being female or becoming a mother is inherently inferior or problematic, but because our systems were never designed with women or mothers in mind.

I often find data like this disturbing AND helpful - disturbing because it reveals just how deep systems fail women, and helpful because it gives language and evidence to what so many of us have felt but couldn't always explain.

I highly recommend reading Invisible Women: Exposing Bias in a World Designed for Men by Caroline Criado Perez

Do you have a Not So Fun Fact?

#invisiblewomen #notsofunfact #motherhoodpenalty #feminist #feminism #economics #mentalload #unpaidlabour #mothersmatter #makewomenvisible #postpartum #pregnancy #birth #matrescence #thepowerofbirth #motherhood #mothering #databias #racialhealthdisparities #maternalmentalhealth #perinatalmentalhealth #endthegap

Hyperemesis Gravidarum is not morning sickness.

It’s not something a cracker will fix. It’s not anxiety. It’s not in your head. It’s a medical crisis, one that too many women are told to suffer through without diagnosis and adequate treatment.

I created this post to shatter the dismissive myths that surround HG because the ignorance is dangerous. They delay treatment, amplify trauma, and make mothers feel like they’re weak, dramatic, or broken.

The truth?
HG can steal your joy, your health, your ability to eat, move, connect, work, and care for your living children — even your will to continue. It’s relentless. And it’s real. And it's hell.

To anyone who’s ever been told “it’s just morning sickness” — I see you.
You deserved better care. You deserved to be believed.

Let’s stop normalising suffering in pregnancy. Let’s name it.
Let’s change it.

💛

Highly recommend these 2 incredible organisations for more resources, information and support.
@hgmoms
@hyperemesisaustralia

#HyperemesisGravidarum #HGawareness #PregnancyIsNotAlwaysBeautiful #MaternalHealthMatters #BelieveWomen #ThePowerOfBirth #PregnancyTrauma #NotJustMorningSickness #Motherhood #Pregnancy #HGpregnancy

You don’t have to wait for a breakdown to start questioning who you are.

For me, motherhood brought identity shifts I never saw coming.

It’s not depression.
It’s not burnout.
It’s the in-between.

The grey space where you’re still functioning, but you don’t quite feel like you.

This isn’t failure.
It’s called matrescence — the process of becoming a mother.

It’s a psychological, emotional, and even neurological transformation.
Your roles, values, priorities, and sense of self are all in motion.
And yet the world keeps expecting you to stay the same.

Many mothers describe this phase as feeling lost, flattened, or like a shadow of who they were.
But that doesn’t mean you’re broken — it means you’re in transition.

We rarely make space to process these changes.
We’re taught to bounce back, not to evolve.

But identity isn’t static. And neither are we.

This phase is an invitation — not to go back to who you were,
but to gently meet who you are becoming.

Support helps. Community helps. Self-compassion is essential.

This is your story. You get to write the ending

#motherhood #matrescence #pregnancy #birth #mothering #postpartum #newmum #seasonedmum #perinatalmentalhealth #matrescencesupport #awareness #loneliness #identity loss #loss #transformation #evolve #psychology

I've been liking this trend and finally got around to doing one!

Here's the truth...
"All that matters is a healthy baby"
What about the mother? If mothers are supported, families and communities thrive.

"Martyrdom is the definition of a good mother"
Because sacrificing ourselves is easier to praise than actually supporting us.

"If you need help, you're failing"
No - pretending you're fine when you're not is more likely to make you fall apart.

"Mothering is instinctual"
No - our brains are rewired for learning! Not to know it all instantly.

"Motherhood is where your identity ends"
Its a big part of you, but it's not all of you.

"Bouncing back is the goal"
Yes, let's just pretend nothing happened 🙃

"Wanting space means you're ungrateful"
You can love your children AND have your own needs

"The perfect mother exists and its sustainable"
She doesn't. And trying to become her is destroying us.

"Domestic labour is women's work"
No. Its unpaid work required to live and its everyone's responsibility

"You carry the mental load because you choose to"
No. Girls and women are conditioned to think about others, help and care for others making us the default in families. In a true partnership the mental load is shared.

What would you add?!

#motherhood #perinatalmentalhealth #propaganda #motherhoodpropaganda #matrescence #Mothering #birth #pregnancy #postpartum #bounceback #reels #trendingreels #mentalload #thepowerofbirth #patriarchalmotherhood

The bravest thing you can do is to admit that you're struggling and need help.

Such a taboo topic that its even difficult for some clinicians to ask clients directly about suicide - but the more we talk about it the better!

Maternal suicide is one of the leading causes of death in the pregnancy and postpartum period in Australia. Each person leaves behind family, friends and community.

The perinatal period is highly complex and we know that passive suicidal ideation can quickly turn active but we currently do not understand suicide enough to predict the pathway from passive to active. This is why its important to talk about it!

Research shows that the postpartum period holds higher risk for suicide yet most postnatal support stops at 4-6 weeks. Parents are isolated, sleep deprived, anxious, exhausted during this time and the support tends to end.

Sadly, less is known about paternal suicide yet 3/4 of all suicides in Australia are men - we just dont collect the data for the perinatal period. Wild!!

What we do know thanks to important new research; shame is a significant feature of suicide, entrapment with "no escape", feelings of failure, loss of self, isolation, 'defective' talk, feeling unworthy and not belonging [even in their family], beliefs that they dont have what it takes - are all signs of suicidal ideation.
(Biggs et al., 2023)

If this sounds like you or someone you know, please consider reaching out to a trusted family, friend or mental health professional / helpline. I know it can be difficult to see beyond that darkness, but I promise you, there is light to come.

Let's continue to have the hard conversations together, it may just save a life ❤️🙏

@pandanational

#motherhood #maternalsuicide #maternalmentalhealth #perinatalmentalhealth ##pregnancy #birth #shame #postpartum #suicide #supportformothers #anxiety #pnd #pna #depression #mumsmatter

The perfect mothers day gift - from me to me 😆

I have been SO keen to read this since the launch. If you dont follow Neha from @motheruntitled you NEED to. I've been having lots of conversations about this since my return to work and its the reframe and revolution we've needed - The Power Pause.

Happy mothers day ❤️

Love love love.

#thepowerofbirth #thepowerpause #returntowork #stayathomemum #workingmum #allmumswork #paidwork #mentalload #careerbreak #maternityleave #thecomeback #notJUSTamum #justamum #mothering #motherhood #mother #parenting #parent #womenshealth #perinatalmentalhealth

The ambivalence is real 😅

What do you want for mothers day?!

#mothersday #mothering #motherhood #matrescence #ambivalence #maternalambivalence #mama #perinatalmentalhealth #pregnancy #postpartum #seasonedmama #newmama #birth

I love sharing small tips that can help you in those emotionally overwhelming moments. This is an effective yet basic grounding strategy that brings you back to the present moment.

You know when you feel incredibly busy, rushed, stressed and can literally feel the tension? Or when you feel low, helpless, hopeless, sad or numb? Or when the baby is crying and your flooded with emotions? Or when you can't fall asleep because of those racing thoughts? Or any time you're dysregulated...

Try this...
🩷 Slowly tune in to your surroundings, name 5 things that you can see, describe them; textures, colours, patterns.
🩷 Next name 4 things you can touch, if possible, touch them. Tune into what they feel like, notice them, how does that feel against your skin?
🩷 Now listen carefully, name 3 things you can hear. Maybe its your breath, maybe its cars in the distance, maybe you hear the birds or the breeze, maybe you hear little flutters from your baby. What can you hear?
🩷 Now take in a big inhale through your nose. What do you smell? I think you'll be surprised.
🩷 Next, one thing you can taste. This can be simply moving your tongue and saliva around for natural taste, or you can drink water, lick or eat something to heighten this sense.

Now how do you feel?

I've seen people use this exercise and go through it very quickly. The more intention you put into it, the more you will get out of it. Its not suppose to be super easy, you might struggle with some of it- this will actually help you lean into your senses more.

I love coaching people through this one! Seems so simple but it really can be beautiful and calming for our nervous system. And works great doing it with your kids when they get old enough!

How did you go?

#perinatalmentalhealth #mother #motherhood #mama #baby #pregnancy #birth #postpartum #matrescence #nervoussystemregulation
#depression #anxiety #grounding #mentalhealthtoolbox #supportformothers #PNA #PND #groundingtechnique

Karen Kleiman knows her shit. 🙌

@artofholding
@postpartumstress

#worldmaternalmentalhealthday

Suicide. An important yet taboo topic in motherhood. I personally know one too many mothers who have been very close to ending their lives.

Suicide remains one of the leading causes of death for women in the year following childbirth. In Australia, 10% of pregnancy-related deaths are attributed to suicide, highlighting critical gaps in maternal mental health care. However this statistic only includes deaths that occur during pregnancy or within 42 days postpartum- the risk does not decrease after this time, in fact, up to one year after giving birth may carry an even greater risk of suicide. The gap here lies in how maternal mortality is recorded, leading to underestimating the true impact.

Since data does not reflect the total period of risk, screening and support may be front loaded to the first few weeks after birth, leaving many mothers without adequate support as they continue to navigate postpartum.

When I share statistics I often want to talk about the fact they are not just numbers- they represent mothers, partners, children, families whose lives have changed forever. The perinatal period is a time of immense transformation, and for some, it brings overwhelming challenges.

Some warning signs for suicide include:
❤️‍🩹 persistent sadness or low mood
❤️‍🩹 feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness
❤️‍🩹 anxiety or excessive worry
❤️‍🩹 social withdrawal
❤️‍🩹 thoughts of self harm or ending life
❤️‍🩹 reckless or self destructive behaviours
❤️‍🩹 statements such as "my baby deserves a better mother" - 'defective' talk
❤️‍🩹 feelings of shame

Stigma and lack of awareness often prevent mothers from seeking help. We NEED to do better (by we I mean society, mental healthcare, maternal care, research, our gov)

Together, we can make sure there is no mother left behind ❤️ 🙏 I urge you to say the hard things out loud... it might just save you ❤️‍🩹

#motherhood #perinatalmentalhealth #maternalsuicide #maternalmentalhealth #pregnancy #postpartum #thepowerofbirth #endthestigma #supportformothers #anxiety #depression #mama #birth #maternalmentalhealthmatters #mumsmatter #PND #PNA #PMADs

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Gold Coast, Queensland Australia

thepowerofbirth@outlook.com

“In giving birth to our babies, we may find that we give birth to new possibilities within ourselves.” – Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn