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The Power of Birth

In giving birth to our babies, we may find that we give birth to new possibilities within ourselves
Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn

Helping women make sense of pregnancy, birth, matrescence and modern motherhood through psychology + lived experience + systemic context.

Evidence-based support for perinatal mental health, from someone who's been there.

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Here you’ll find spaces to learn, connect, and feel supported - whether you’re seeking evidence-based information, real-life stories, practical tools, or opportunities to collaborate. Each part of this website is designed to nurture you through birth, postpartum, and beyond.

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What No One Told You

The truths about birth and motherhood we all deserve to hear.

Free Tools for Your Wellbeing

Worksheets, guides, and gentle practices you can start today.

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Stories That Heal

Read and share real birth and postpartum experiences - because your story matters too.

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Invite me to share my expertise and passion for perinatal mental health as a guest speaker, podcast guest, workshop presenter, writer or panel contributor. I love partnering with conferences, podcasters, events, mother’s groups, and fellow professionals to create meaningful conversations and impactful education.

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30 Seconds of Self Compassion a day for 30 days in September and we begin tomorrow - 1st of September!!

Follow my stories to complete a self compassion practice every single day - you just need to give yourself 30 seconds!
This may be a skill you are still developing, it might feel really yuck or hard at first, maybe your curious, maybe you have no idea how to do this or what this means, maybe you are feeling like you dont deserve it - if any of this is you, follow along, join me in giving a little bit back to yourself. Share with a friend and join together!

You matter too. You deserve the kindness you give to others.

🩷🩷🩷

@thepowerofbirth

#selfcompassion #30daysofselfcompassion #womenshealth #motherhoof #thepowerofbirth

"Bounce back" is a strange thing to say to a person.

It's a word for elastic. For something that stretches, then returns to exactly the shape it was before, as though nothing ever happened.

Your body and brain is not like elastic.

I believe Matrescence is the word you are looking for and the term we should be talking about in motherhood, rather than concentrating on what we look like and trying not to change.

Matrescence is a full developmental transition. Body, brain, hormones, identity, relationships, what you want, what you can tolerate, who you spend your time with, your beliefs, career, meaning making, self worth, empathy. All of it, at once.

And no one has ever looked at a 15 year old and told her she should be bouncing back into childhood. We give adolescence years. We give matrescence about six weeks and a check up.

So if it feels like you're failing at returning to who you were, you're not. Getting to know the woman who is here now is the new goal. What she needs. What she won't put up with anymore. Who she is.

What changed after you became a parent?

#matrescencesupport #ThePowerofBirth #perinatalpsychology ##perinatalmentalhealth #bouncebackculture

Support isn't measured by what you're willing to do. It's measured by what she gets to put down.

Most importantly, support is measured by how the mother defines support.

#PostpartumSupport #MaternalMentalHealth #postpartum #thepowerofbirth #Motherhood

Read them again and notice the power of the word AND.

Not "but." "But" cancels the first half, it makes one feeling the real one and the other a mistake. "And" lets both stand.

Two opposite things can coexist. That isn't a contradiction to resolve.

That's just an accurate description of motherhood.
Next time you find yourself feeling the weight of both thoughts and feelings happening at the same time, use the word AND to alleviate some of that pressure.

#Matrescence #MaternalMentalHealth #PostpartumSupport #thepowerofbirth #PerinatalMentalHealth

Working with children and adolescents has taught me that you are almost never working with the child alone.
You are working with an entire system.

Bronfenbrenner’s ecological systems theory reminds us that a child develops within layers of relationships, environments and social structures; their family, school, peers, community, services, policies, culture and the broader circumstances surrounding their life. A child’s behaviour cannot be separated from those systems. And yet, that is exactly what we try to do.

1. We focus on the behaviour we can see rather than asking what might be driving it. We ask how to make a child more compliant, regulated or manageable before asking what their behaviour might be communicating. We continue to prioritise behaviourist approaches over attachment, development and context.

2. Adults do not automatically have the emotional intelligence, reflective capacity or self-awareness required to recognise their own contribution to a dynamic. Adults supporting children all bring their own experiences, beliefs, biases, stress and emotional capacity into the relationships. Having authority over a child does not necessarily mean having the skills to understand them.

3. Then there are the systems themselves. Caseloads are high. Resources are limited. Staff are stretched. Support can become reactive rather than preventative .

4. Working with children requires specialised skills: developmental knowledge, emotional attunement, relationship building, reflection, curiosity, play and the ability to understand behaviour in context.

5. Children often have the least power within the systems making decisions about them, when they should be at the centre of them.

So if we are serious about supporting children and adolescents, the goal cannot simply be to change their behaviour. We have to be willing to look at the relationships, environments and systems shaping it too.

#ChildPsychology #AdolescentMentalHealth #ChildDevelopment #attachment #supportingchildren

You shouldn’t have to add “but I love my kids” every time you say something about motherhood is hard.

“I need a break.”
“I miss who I was before.”
“I’m touched out.”
“I feel resentful.”
“I don’t enjoy this stage.”
“I wish I had more freedom.”
“Sometimes I don’t want anyone to need anything from me.”

None of those sentences require a disclaimer. But mothers learn very quickly that difficult feelings are often treated like evidence against their love.

So we soften them.

“I’m exhausted, but I love my kids.”
“I miss my old life, but obviously I wouldn’t change them.”
“I need time away, but don’t get me wrong, I’m so grateful.”

You can love your children deeply and still have needs that exist entirely separately from them.

You can struggle with motherhood without putting your love for your children on trial.

Sometimes “I’m finding this really hard” is the whole sentence.

#matrescence #maternalmentalhealth #thepowerofbirth #perinatalmentalhealth #motherhood

Anyone else??

I remember trying to dress myself pregnant, then for the practicality of breastfeeding, and the changes my body had postpartum. My style had completely changed and I even felt like I didnt have one anymore. It was all part of the loss of identity that came with motherhood.

I used to get so frustrated, upset even when I would be getting dressed. They definitely dont make clothes to fit bigger bodies, let alone excess skin and postpartum bellies (I still refer to my stomach as that even though its been 6 years 😅). The frustration is real.

Its taken some time, but eventually I've found different styles that work for me and I will now spend the $$ if it is going to make me feel better about myself! That took work too.

Did you ever find your style again? Seems like such an unimportant thing but it really did have an impact. Living in an image obsessed world certainly doesnt help that.

🩷🩷

#motherhood #postpartum #style #identityinmotherhood #Matrescence

Grief visits in the absence of something that mattered to us.

There are many types of losses where grief is experienced and I often have mothers tell me they are ashamed to feel grief because they have a healthy living baby. But grief visits most of us, grief and loss are a very common experience in motherhood.

🩷🩷

#motherhood #thepowerofbirth #griefandloss #perinatalmentalhealth #postpartum

You can be grateful and still say it was hard.

You can be grateful for your baby and grieve how they came into the world.

You can know things could have been worse and still be affected by what actually happened.

Gratitude does not cancel out pain.

“at least…” isn’t reassurance. It’s a way of moving past someone’s pain before they’ve had the chance to fully comprehend it, feel it, or process it.

“At least your baby is healthy.”
“At least you didn’t need a caesarean.”
“At least you got pregnant.”
“At least everyone is okay.”

Maybe all of those things are true. But they don’t make the difficult part disappear. Sometimes the most supportive response isn’t to find the positive.
It’s to stay with the person long enough to say:

That was hard.
That hurt.
This sucks.

There doesn’t always need to be a silver lining.

Sometimes the hard thing is allowed to just be hard.

#gratitude #MaternalMentalHealth #PostpartumSupport #thepowerofbirth #PerinatalMentalHealth

Before we tell a mother she needs more self-care, can we ask a few other questions first.

Because “you need to take care of yourself, try some self care” has become the answer to the struggle.

You cannot bubble-bath your way out of chronic sleep deprivation. A face mask does not replace a partner who notices the washing without being asked.

Self-care is not the intervention. Support is.

So when a mother is struggling, the more useful questions are these. Is she sleeping? Does anyone help her practically? Is she the only person in the house who remembers the appointments, the nappy sizes, the birthday presents, the fact that they are nearly out of bread? Does she have a single hour that belongs to her and nobody else?

Fix those, and self-care stops having to do the heavy lifting.

#mentalload #maternalmentalhealth #matrescence #postpartumsupport #thepowerofbirth

Not sure what to get a new mum, for baby shower or for your first visit postpartum? Here are some of my favourite things!!

Good Mums Have Scary Thoughts by Karen Kleiman @postpartumstress is my all time favourite and is a gift I give to all new mums.

The Lovely Haze of Baby Days by Lindsay Keller-Madsen @lindsay.kellar.madsen a very real book depicting everyday life with a baby in a way the kids enjoy too

Eye masks by @james_cosmetics because they helped me look a little better sleep deprived haha

Face masks @thefaceshop.anz to make you feel alive

Foraged @foragedforyou_ my naturopath put me on to this product and I have never looked back.

Lactation hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies with boobie butter by @madetomilk and @thebodsociety

Of course I throw in @thepowerofbirth pelvic health info pamphlet (because we all deserve to know about whats normal/not normal for our pelvic floor) and the postpartum toolbox 🩷

What are your favourite things to gift new mums??

#ThePowerofBirth
#perinatalmentalhealth #babyshowergifts #postpartum #newmum

I know too many and I blame none of them. It actually pains me to even write the words on the screen.

There are literally mums who dont want to be here anymore, and they are only still here because they live for their children.

Heartbreaking.

When 1 in 5 mothers experience perinatal mental health conditions, and suicide remains one of the leading causes of maternal death in Australia, this is not an individual resilience problem.

We need systems that recognise distress earlier, make specialist support accessible, and stop waiting until mothers are in crisis before asking why they didn’t reach out.

Around 1 in 12 mothers experience suicidal thoughts during the perinatal period. I do think that stat is severely underreported. But this should not be happening at this scale.

If you read this and thought, “that’s me” you are not the only one. I urge you to tell someone how you are feeling and seek support. 🩷🙏❤️‍🩹

You matter.

#maternalsuicide #maternalmentalhealth #perinatalmentalhealth #postpartum #thepowerofbirth

Motherhood was never meant to be isolating…
Yet so many mothers are expected to carry the mental load, the physical load, the emotional load and all of the invisible work, often with nowhere near enough support.

Then, when you feel anxious, overwhelmed, sleep deprived, disconnected or exhausted, somehow you become the problem.

You’re left wondering what’s wrong with you.
Why you’re not coping better.
Why everyone else seems to manage.
But you are not failing at this.

Your distress, your mood, your exhaustion may be a very understandable response to being asked to carry too much, for too long, with too little support.

The problem isn’t that a mother is struggling. The problem is how much we expect her to carry.

Mothers need holding too.

#ThePowerOfBirth #MaternalMentalHealth #PerinatalMentalHealth #MotherhoodSupport #PostpartumSupport

We need to keep talking about perinatal mental health. We need to talk about what it looks like, the nuances in this period of life, the impact, the hope.

Postnatal depression and/or anxiety does not always look like sadness.
Sometimes it looks like withdrawal.
Sometimes it looks like control.
Sometimes it looks like a mother who appears to be coping exceptionally well but feels dead on the inside.
Sometimes it looks like rage.
Sometimes it looks like shame.
Sometimes it looks like urgency.
Sometimes it looks like protection.
Sometimes it looks like panic.
Sometimes it looks like everything's fine, until it isnt.

When was the last time someone checked on you, and you were honest?
When was the last time you checked on your friends and family? Just in case you missed something.

Remember to check in with your friends and family no matter the age of their children. We need each other 🩷

Mums need other mums and we need to feel safe enough to be honest about how we are feeling.

#ThePowerofBirth #motherhood #postpartum #anxiety #depression

WE NEED A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT HYPEREMESIS GRAVIDARUM. Who’s with me?

#hyperemesis #hg #pregnancysickness #pregnancy #pregnancytrauma

Define “normal”.

Did you know you can have a textbook birth and still feel traumatised?

You can follow every recommendation, have healthcare providers who believe everything went “well”, leave with a healthy baby and still walk away deeply affected by what happened.

Because birth trauma isn’t determined only by the outcome. It can be shaped by fear, pain, loss of control, feeling unheard, helplessness, unexpected intervention, or believing that you or your baby were in danger. Your nervous system doesn’t stop to ask whether what happened was common.

Common does not mean harmless.
Routine does not mean insignificant.
A healthy baby does not automatically mean a healthy experience.

#BirthTrauma #PerinatalMentalHealth #TraumaInformedCare #PostpartumSupport #thepowerofbirth

I've seen such a divide on the internet about this case. I often think about what it would be like to have your worst most vulnerable dark thoughts, feelings, experiences, the worst of the worst, on trial, blasted all over the news and internet for everyone to then have a say.
Awful. Humans can be awful, people do terrible things, and humans love to punish one another for it. I do think a mother who has harmed, in the case murdered, her children does not need the world pilling on to her shame, regret, grief, loneliness and self torture.

Working with parents who have harmed their children due to their mental state - I dont want to judge them, I want to understand them, I want them to tell me what they are feeling so I can keep them and the people around them safe, even if that means they need to be kept safe from themselves.

If I can encourage you to also take a step back from the noise around this case, I think that would be a good takeaway.

#perinatalmentalhealth #postnatalpsychosis #psychiatricillness #motherhood #psychology

Motherhood “trends” I wish would actually trend…

That every mother is allowed to do it differently.

That a messy house isn’t evidence of failure.

That needing time away doesn’t mean you love them less.

That fed is the key word.

That loving the newborn stage and simply surviving it are both valid.

That gratitude doesn’t cancel exhaustion.

That sleep choices aren’t moral categories.

That bodies don’t just “bounce back.”

And that judging another mother is often easier than facing how unsupported we all are.

Imagine if these were the norm instead of the exception.

#MotherhoodTrends #PerinatalMentalHealth #PostpartumToolbox #NormaliseMotherhood #MumsOfInstagram

Not all perinatal distress is pathology.
Sometimes anxiety, rage, resentment, or overwhelm are understandable responses to sleep deprivation, isolation, unequal labour, inadequate support, or what a mother has been through.

Perinatal psychology is not a niche area of psychology.
Pregnancy, birth and the transition to motherhood are major developmental and psychological events, yet maternal mental health is still too often treated as a specialist side issue rather than core healthcare.

A risk-averse maternity system can create the very trauma it is trying to prevent.
When avoiding physical risk becomes the overriding priority, informed decision making, autonomy, relationship and the psychological consequences of care can disappear from the conversation.

How a woman experiences her birth matters even when everything was medically “fine.”
Trauma is not determined by the mode of birth, Apgar scores, or whether healthcare providers thought the birth was textbook.

Matrescence deserves the same seriousness we give other major developmental transitions.
Becoming a mother can reorganise identity, relationships, values, body, work and sense of self. Calling all of that “postpartum adjustment” massively underestimates its power.

We individualise distress that is often systemic.
Therapy cannot compensate for a mother having no village, inadequate maternity care, financial pressure, sleep deprivation, relationship inequality and impossible expectations. Often the problem is not her coping skills.

Reducing maternal mortality and morbidity matters. But survival cannot be the ceiling for what we expect maternity care to achieve.
A mother and baby leaving birth alive is not the only outcome that matters. Her dignity, autonomy, body, psychological safety and wellbeing matter too.

#maternitycare #perinatalmentalhealth #perinatalpsychology #matrescencesupport #thepowerofbirth

Sometimes the most healing thing isn’t advice. It’s being witnessed. 🤍

Not every hard moment in motherhood needs a solution, a silver lining, or a “have you tried…”. Sometimes it just needs someone to sit beside it and say, that sounds really hard, and I'm with you.

What a privilege it is to witness vulnerability.

#MotherhoodSupport #PerinatalMentalHealth #BirthStories #PostpartumSupport #ThePowerofBirth

Some winters are long and hard.

Every day can feel the same, and you start to wonder if things will ever feel lighter again.

I’ve had winters like that. Some stayed much longer than I thought I could handle.

But eventually, slowly, something shifts.
A little bit of growth.
A little more light.
And then, eventually, the first blooms.

Motherhood has seasons, just like mother earth has seasons. There are winters that can feel endless, but winter doesn't last forever. It does end. It does get better. You will feel like yourself again (the new version 😉)

One day, the spring will come and you will bloom again.

🩷

#motherhood #matrescence #perinatalmentalhealth #postpartum #seasonsofmotherhood

The feeding. The appointments. The night wakes. The house. The work. The remembering. The planning. The emotional load. The pressure to be grateful through all of it.

You are not failing at motherhood. You may simply be carrying more than one person was ever meant to hold.

Motherhood was never meant to be done in isolation and yet, many of us are doing it without support.

If it feels hard, its because it is hard - not because you are failing.

#YouAreNotFailing #InvisibleLoad #MentalLoad #PostpartumSupport #PerinatalMentalHealth

Missing your old life doesn’t make you ungrateful. It doesn’t make you a bad mother. It makes you a whole person who gave up a great deal to grow another one. And that you have a new person to meet - this new version of you.

You’re allowed to hold both: fierce love for your baby AND longing for sleep-ins, eating a hot meal, your old body, your old brain, your hobbies, the old you.

#MumGuilt #PostpartumSupport #MaternalMentalHealth #MotherhoodMoments #NewMum

Turns out the $700 blind was not the answer. Shocking I know.

Did I feel insane back then? Yes.
Did I try things I swore I never would? Yes.
Do I regret some of the things I tried? Big yes.
Did I ever sleep again? Yes.
Am I still tired? Absolutely.
Does sleep deprivation turn you into someone you are not? Yes yes yes.

Ahh the controversy of baby sleep, it never gets old. I often revisit those days and give myself a whole lot of love because sleep deprivation was a shock to the nervous system and I hope to never live in a state of anxiety like that ever again.

I don't think we talk enough about how the impact of how sleep deprivation.

Did you put any fingers down? 😅
Would love to hear your versions... 😘

#ThePowerofBirth
#babysleep #perinatalmentalhealth
#postnatalanxiety #mothering

@thepowerofbirth has been a little quiet for a while, but things are starting to move again behind the scenes!!!!

This space is slowly coming back to life and I cannot wait to share with you what’s in store.

There’s plenty more to share soon, and I’m really excited for what’s ahead.

Watch this space!!

Ps. I did notice the typo on the post ah! 🫠 @thepowerofbirth practicing imperfection over here 🫡😄

#ThePowerOfBirth #ComingSoon #BirthSupport #BirthTraumaAwareness #PerinatalMentalHealth

Guys, gals... I'm just checking ok.

#perinatalpsychology #PerinatalMentalHealth #ThePowerofBirth #postpartum #matrescence

A little life update… and a big one for @thepowerofbirth

I am officially a registered psychologist. Honestly, it has been a hard slog to get here. Years of study, placements, supervision, exams, working, parenting, trying to keep all the plates spinning and plenty of moments where I wondered how much longer I could keep pushing.

To make it through, I had to put The Power of Birth on the shelf for a while. This space means so much to me, but I simply did not have enough of myself left to give it what I wanted to give it.

And now… I made it. Reaching registration feels like I can finally exhale. It also means I can start bringing The Power of Birth back to life.

This space began with my own lived experience and the voice of many others highlighting the taboo. Now, I get to return with the clinical knowledge and experience I have worked so hard for but I am conscious of not losing the realness, advocacy and heart that created this space in the first place.

There is so much I have wanted to create, share and talk about, and I am genuinely so excited for what is coming. Thank you for hanging in there with me.

I’m back baby!

#PerinatalMentalHealth #perinatalpsychology #ThePowerofBirth #registeredpsychologist ##lifeupdate

A gap? That's how motherhood is viewed in the paid working world??
I literally grew two humans, birth them and fed them from my body, cared for and nurtured them, thought about them and their wellbeing constantly, lost years of sleep so they could get it, learned how to mother, unlearned old ways, expanded my identity and self, loved harder than I ever have before, fought to be well, and so so much more.

A gap? This time in my life was anything but a gap, it was so full. 🩷🩷

#motherhood #thepowerofbirth #perinatalmentalhealth #allmumswork #matrescence

Healing doesn't end at 6 weeks postpartum. Neither does risk.

A recent article in The Conversation reported that nearly half of maternal deaths in Pennsylvania USA occurred more than six weeks after birth. A shocking statistic.

And while that article was based in the US, the message is absolutely relevant here in Australia too.

Australian data shows that many maternal deaths occur after birth, and while postnatal care is a little better here, our issues lies with suicide-related maternal deaths in the first year after pregnancy occurring after the traditional 6 week postpartum window.

This matters because so many mothers are discharged, checked once, and then expected to simply “get on with it.”

But postpartum recovery is not just about the baby and returning to sex or exercise.

That’s why tools like the POST-BIRTH warning signs acronym are so important. It helps mothers, partners, families and professionals recognise when something may need urgent medical attention.

POST-BIRTH reminds us to look out for:

P - Pain in the chest
O - Obstructed breathing or shortness of breath
S - Seizures
T - Thoughts of hurting yourself or others
B - Bleeding or blood clots
I - Incision that isn’t healing
R - Red or swollen leg
T - Temperature of 38°C or higher, or 36.1°C or lower
H - Headache that doesn’t get better

You do not need to tick off multiple symptoms, any one of them may indicate a serious birth post complication and should be taken seriously with prompt medical attention.

Mothers deserve to be seen, screened and supported across the whole first year after birth.

I read this article and wanted to share it.
So save this post. Share it with a new mum, partner, grandparent, doula, midwife or health professional.

It could help someone recognise the signs sooner.
It could save a life.

#postpartum #postpartumhealth #maternalmentalhealth #birthtrauma #birthinjury

I remember working having colleagues who were parents and hearing them say that paid work was a break, and I never really understood that. I also remember thinking, I don't want that life, it doesn't sound fun 😅 and here I am!

Knowing raising children, parenting, life admin etc is a full time job, I did it as the primary parent for their first 5 years. It was brutal AND it was beautiful. Both of those things can coexist, and I wouldn't give that time back. I am grateful I could do that.

And now that I've been going to a paid job for 2 years, I'm right in the thick of it, and today when I got home I was reflecting on not only does my day job feel like a break from that parenting realm, it allows me to explore more of myself and I love it. It breaks up the mundane that comes with home parent life. Of course both have their pros and cons, but I feel more balanced now. And my kids are at school anyway so that helps with the guilt of not being with them all the time like I once was (thats a process in and of itself).

Now of feels as if I have this balance of working in and out of the home which gives me more presence in both worlds. I still require frequent nervous system resets as both jobs aren't easy for that reason haha

I should mention I'm part time, so that certainly helps with feeling balanced, full timers (either at in the home or paid work) I take my hat off to you, that's not easy!

Always curious to know what the transition back to paid work has been like for others, are you feeling more balanced? Struggling with guilt? Loving it? Hating it?

#motherhood #returntowork #perinatalmentalhealth #matrescence #ambivalence

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In giving birth to our babies, we may find that we give birth to new possibilities within ourselves Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn